Counting Our Blessings: The Ups And Downs Of Weaning

Last week I decided that I needed to wean John Whitten. It seriously broke my heart, but I knew that the only way we would be able to get him to eat food more consistently would be to wean him completely. I had tried to hold on to nursing him in the mornings and at night, but he literally wouldn't eat as long as he knew he would get to nurse eventually. Our pediatrician suggested that because of how old John Whitten was, and because of how attached he was to the relationship, that I should just wean him cold turkey. Great idea for John Whitten...horrible idea for Mommy.

As horrible as it is to admit this, I was nursing John Whitten easily 14 times a day and usually a couple times during the night. So you can imagine the kind of supply that I had going on. I did not think too much about that little detail when I decided to go with the whole cold turkey thing. Three days into it I was sick as a dog crying for Shaun to come home from work so I could go to the doctor. After seeing my regular ob/gyn, my ob/gyn's college, a lactation consultant, a breast surgeon and having an ultrasound it was determined that all of my milk ducts on one side were completely clogged with the begins of an abscess in one of them. I seriously cannot even begin to tell you the amount of pain I was in. I could not even pump any milk out because everything was clogged up. Horrible pain, horribly sick is all I can say about last week/weekend.

The doctor ended up sending me home with four prescriptions -antibiotics, WONDERFUL pain medicine and a pill that would basically dry me up. Five days later I am finally somewhat comfortable and I don't feel like I have the flu anymore. The whole thing was emotional and I am so sad that I am not nursing John Whitten anymore, but after three days of eating NOTHING he actually has started to eat a little bit. We had to stave him out basically, but he is eating.

I know that weaning John Whitten was really what was best for him, but it really does break this Mommy's heart to close the door on that part of our relationship. I cherished those late night feedings when the house was quite and it was just he and I sitting in the darkness of his room. I loved the closeness of breastfeeding...I loved every moment of it (most of the time). I

will always treasure these last 22 months with my sweet boy, and I am so grateful that I was able to have that special relationship with him.