Is It That Time Of Year? Home Study Update

It has been over a year since our social worker last came to visit us for our original home study, so it was time for a check in. Our last home study felt so stressful, and I was so worried that they would tear us apart or something. Our social worker was here for FOUR hours. It was hard to keep the kids happy and entertained while Shaun and I sat on the couch and answered a million questions. The actual walk through of our home was probably the last five minutes of the whole visit. This year Shaun and I both where much more relaxed. Shaun took the morning(which turned into the day) off. We slept until 7:30, then I had to run John Whitten into the doctor real quickly and I basically walked in thirty minutes before our social worker got here. Because we are no longer adopting through Lifeline, our home study was much shorter. Remember, we are only a contract family for Lifeline now. Meaning that they basically handle and post placement adoption paperwork and visits, but our actual adoption will happen through NDSAN(National Down Syndrome Adoption Network). So we got to skip over many of the questions and pretty much just had to answer if we had and job changes, have talked about separation or divorce or any major family happenings over the last year. And we had to turn in the kids physicals, our tax information from and a few other documents. The kids where great and let us get through the hour long meeting relatively uninterrupted. 

Shaun and I are both really excited about where God is leading us, and how He is working in our hearts and in our family through this adoption process. I will say that some days it feels more emotional and stressful than others. We have had a couple of phone calls through NDSAN-one being at 10:30 at night- and that we can get the phone call at any moment thought/feeling can be a little emotionally draining. I probably think about our adoption, our child and our child's birth parents a thousand times a day. It feels that way at least. I pray for them driving down the road after I have dropped Lillian off at school. I think about them when I am cooking dinner. I snap a picture of Lillian and John Whitten and can't help but notice that someone is missing. We have a little lovey that we bought after we turned in our application to Lifeline. We will hold onto it and pray for our adoption and the child that will be comforted by that little lovey one day. Last week after I had put John Whitten down for a nap and Lillian was having fun out with my Grandmother, I took that little lovey and sat down to pray for our sweet baby. But all I could do was just sob. I am so grateful that God knows my prayers and hears my cries even when I cannot speak. When my mind cannot find the words to express my heart I know He hears me. I think that I have spent most of this adoption in silence before God- usually I have a lot to say to Him-and it has been a spiritual journey for sure. 

Who is there who speaks and it happens, unless the LORD has ordained it?

Lamentations 3:37