We are less than two months away from Lillian starting Mother's Day Out, and I am starting to have panic attacks over it. Believe me it is not the program I am worried about, I almost had to convert to Episcopal to get her in at All Saints. And I have made random drop-ins to check out the teachers and the program over the last few months. I LOVE everything about All Saints and have heard nothing but great things about them from other parents, but it is 84 days! 84 days over the course of the school year that I will basically miss with Lillian. Four hours a day, two days a week, 336 hours from August to May that I miss out on. Smiles I don't get to see, laughs I won't get to hear, games and playing that I am not even apart of. A little dramatic I know, but still I can't help it. Drop off is at 9:00 a.m and then I would pick her up at 1:00, only for her to fall asleep in the car on the way home and not wake up from her nap until after 3:30-4:00. Our days are pretty much down hill after that- get dinner ready, clean up after dinner, baths, books, bed. And I can only imagine how hectic that all will become with a newborn strapped to me.
Shaun keeps telling me that she is ready, and that I will enjoy that alone time that Lillian being in MDO will allow me to have with Whitten but still I am beyond nervous about it. I keep telling myself, "She is two Melissa, she is ready for this.." but then I just find myself saying, "exactly, she is ONLY two. And my time is so limited with her....why do I HAVE to send her somewhere". Shaun also made a good point telling me that he thinks it will be nice for her to have her own place...her own space and friends. And I will have special time with Whitten like I got to have with Lillian. Who knows....last year we paid for three months of Parent's Day Out and I took her maybe three times. But this year I am going to try to commit to it, and not freak out over not being with her every second. I am thankful that it starts one month before Whitten is born so she won't feel pushed away when he comes, it will just be routine by then for her to go to school two days a week.
It is something I will continue to pray about and hopefully my anxiety over it all will die down by the time August 10th rolls around. Just imagine what I wreck I will be when she actually starts grade school!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
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3 comments:
awww Melissa. I feel like that is so far away for me..Cameron a month away from being one year old. I can't imagine dropping him off like that. I'm sure that is tearing you up. Shaun is right..I'm sure. I don't blame you though for freaking out. I guarantee you I'm going to do the same thing..I'll need you to tell me that it wasn't THAT bad :)
It's hard... I considered 2 days a week for MDO this year too but I just couldn't bring myself to be away from Colt that much. Maybe you should try starting off at 1 day per week... like we do?
I don't think it is easy at any age---but, she will benefit from it....and you and Whitten will too--- Maybe it will be easier for you, but there are days I know that Hudson would get more interaction/attn at preschool than I can give b/c I find myself telling him to "wait" --- you can't tell a newborn to wait, they just cry and that makes us all crazy!! And you know what? If it doesn't work, you can re-evaluate and find something that works for your family. :)
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